Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Wicked Witch of the East (End)

Why hello again. Happy you're back to see what else my brain has hatched as far as topics of conversation go. Well...I am pretty certain that everyone has heard that saying that "life isn't about the breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away" (or something to that effect). I am proud to say that yesterday, I experienced this not once, but twice. I am sure you are as flabbergasted as I was - twice in ONE day, who knew that was even possible.

As I mentioned, there were two moments. I have decided to give the second moment some more thought rather than write about it prematurely, and risk having it lose its lustre. And now for the first moment.

It began during an obligatory, weekly meeting at work. As I looked around the room, I couldn't believe my eyes - and not to judge here - the women were atrociously dressed. As I looked closer, I realized that individual peices were ok on their own, but an alarming number of these grown women could not put an outfit together to save their lives. There were so many colours that just did not belong together, or were perhaps acceptable in the form of a unique dress concocted by Betsey Johnson, but by no means work appropriate(think turquoise crew-neck shirt, with beige tapered corduroy, brown clunky shoes and a pink, yellow and orange flowered cardigan). Listen up ladies - that show, "What Not to Wear", I know it seems harsh, and perhaps even uninteresting if you are a tad "wiser" in your years, but it offers tutorials on how to dress, at any age. Not only does it guide you in how to dress, but how to wear your make-up, your hair - how to look fashionable at any age and yet remain classy. Don't get me wrong - I am all about bold fashion statements and choices, and I realize that the way you dress is an extension of who you are, a means of creative expression, and yes, I know individual tastes aren't exactly up for discussion, but these fashion decisions were so far off the target, I really do have to comment.

Now, after thinking I had quite possibly seen it all (though I knew there was no way that would ever happen), I came across her while I was walking out of the gym - The Wicked Witch of the East (end). **I say East end because those of you who know Ottawa know that the Gloucester centre is in the East end** I couldn't believe what was before my eyes. I came to a dead stop, tripped over my feet and my jaw dropped. Again, I am not judging, but please refer back to prior comment regarding television show. The woman in front of me, someone who was easily in their 70's, had not one, not two, but three - 3, THREE - different colours of hair. And I would like to point out these were not highlights. This lady was dressed, literally, like The Wicked Witch of the East, but her hair was a long layer of black, followed by a long layer of dark-ish grey, topped off with a final, shorter layer of forest green-turquoise. What is THAT? I have made some bad calls on hair colours (thick black chunky stripes on platinum) and haircuts (the self-induced "Moulet"), but I was also 20. And I have also worn some questionable fashion items (yes, I wore fun-fur, but I wore it out, to party, in an environment that was tailored to that fashion movement - aka, Montreal's rave scene circa '99), but the woman in question was out, shopping. I was scared. I think there comes a point in every person's life, and the point is about the same - I would say mid to late 20's - where whether or not you are done being crazy and out there, you need to dress in an age-appropriate manner. I am willing to sacrafice make-up if you can wear your hair in an age-appropriate manner as well. Aging is a part of life, and rather than try to hide it, I think people should instead embrace it. And truthfully, as we age, we ALL look less and less good, and we eventually will probably all look ugly in our old age, but baggy, black, witch robes and bad dye jobs are not going to camouflage this, or prevent the inevitable. And since I am on the subject, one should also avoid trying to squeeze into clothes an 18 year old would wear, stop trying to look that age too! If you are going to dye your hair, do so in a way that accentuates and complements your features - don't dye it 3 different colours, a move even "squeegee kids" are smart enough to avoid trying. Look at Joan Rivers - do you really want to look like her? Do you ever want to come close? Of course you don't.

I really want to reiterate that I am not judging - I have made some bad choices too. I admit them, and am able to laugh at them, and see how far off the mark I was. Ladies, dress your age, adopt a "less is more" attitude with make up, and stop wearing your hair like you are a rebel punk going riiden with teenage angst - this will not make you cooler with the kids (or grandkids, depending), and you risk embarassing them, and yourselves beyond repair. My apologies if you are offended by what I just wrote, but if you walk around and open your eyes, you will realize this phenomenon is reaching staggering numbers, and should be stopped before gains any more momentum.

-Milie B.

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